


You Matter to Me

by snarkysweetness



Series: We Found Wonderland [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Framework AU, Past Character Death, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 12:12:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10921584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkysweetness/pseuds/snarkysweetness
Summary: After the Framework is destroyed and Grant Ward is thrust into the 'real world', he and Skye struggle to deal with their new reality by finding comfort in one another and their shared losses.





	You Matter to Me

**Author's Note:**

> It's hard to say I'm sorry because I'm not.

“Hey, feel like company?” Skye called from the doorway, offering up a bottle of Scotch as an incentive.

Ward, or faux-Ward, or maybe ‘other’ Ward (she wasn’t sure what to call him), glanced up at her, eyes still as sunken and red as they’d been earlier. It was hard not to feel her own heart break for him; he’d lost everything and everyone he loved: including ‘his’ Skye. The other Skye. Another version of her, Skye. Or maybe they were the same Skye. It was all so fucking confusing, which made it even harder to unravel her own feelings about their situation and about him. How was she supposed to know what this all meant when she didn’t even know who or what they were to each other?

Grant (she’d go with that for now, since she’d only ever thought of him as ‘Grant’ in their more tender moments and he could use one of those) met her eyes sadly before looking away, the tears returning.

Skye pushed herself off the doorframe and stepped into the room, being careful to close the door behind her quietly, not wanting to spook him. She set the bottle and two glasses on his nightstand before taking a seat next to him on the edge of the mattress.

“Grant, listen; I know this has all been hard on you, but I’m here, if you need to talk.”

He ran a hand over his face, still turned away from her. “I can’t; not to you.”

Skye wrinkled her nose in confusion.

Why _not_ her? She was the only one here who treated him like he was a person. The others couldn’t separate him from the Ward they’d known, as if the things their Ward had done were his fault. He’d been ripped out of his world and thrust into this one he knew nothing about and was being forced to step into a life that wasn’t his. The life of someone who, due to chance, was the complete opposite of who he was. For now, she was the only friend he had and he was rejecting her?

It seemed every version of Grant Ward was intent on hurting her.

Grant spared her a glance and she saw guilt play across his face before he buried his face in his hands and took a few deep breaths.

“I’m sorry, Skye. It’s not you that’s the problem. It’s just, when I look at you all I can see is her; _my_ Skye. And it’s confusing; I know you’re not her but every time I see you I forget for one, beautiful moment that she’s gone and then her death hits me all over again. I can’t keep going through that.”

And now she was back to feeling guilty. It had been her selfish desire to bring back their lost loved ones before the Framework finished imploding on itself that had brought him here. It had never occurred to her to think of the fact that he had his own Skye in that world, his own Skye that he wouldn’t want to live without; she just hadn’t been able to bear the thought of losing him yet again, not when there was a way to save him.

Sure, it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t the same Grant Ward she’d fallen in love with. Trip wasn’t the same man who had stuck by her side in the months after her Ward’s betrayal and become her best friend. And Hope wasn’t the same little girl Mack had lost. But they still existed, they still felt real to the people who loved them, and they deserved to not lose their lives because the world in which they existed had destroyed itself because of Aida’s attempts to pull them into this world.

Skye hadn’t even thought her actions through; she’d panicked, not wanting to lose more people, and with Mack and Fitz’s help they’d brought through as many of their friends as they could before the Framework collapsed. It wasn’t until after, when she realized their counterparts in the Framework were now gone forever, that she realized how fucked up her actions were. Yes, they’d been able to save three loved ones whom they’d lost in this world but those people had lost everyone they loved and were now battling with their grief and survivor’s guilt.

She’d never been able to forgive her Ward for his stupid choices and now it seemed they weren’t that different after all.

“I understand,” she whispered, sympathetic to his need to be alone. “But promise me you’ll at least find Trip if you need someone, okay?” They’d been friends in the Framework and they could lean on each other now. She couldn’t fix this and she understood she had no right to try so she hoped they would at least try to help each other through this.

Skye stood and reached for the alcohol but thought better of it. If he needed a drink, he’d more than earned it. Grant lay down on his side, his back to her. She stared down at him sadly for a moment before reluctantly heading towards the door.

“You can stay, if you want,” he called quietly, sending a wave of nausea though her as she froze in place.

The memory of her Grant sadly staring at her from his barstool on the bus played through her mind and she had to wipe away a tear. He’d betrayed her and broken her heart and she’d hated him; but he’d also been the love of her life and no amount of hatred or time had ever made her stop loving him, even after all this time.

“We can just lie here,” he whispered, the tears evident in his voice. “I’m just not ready to talk.”

Skye glanced back at him and hesitated for a long moment. This wasn’t her Ward, but he was still Ward. The man he would have been if his circumstances had been different or if she had just shown him how much she loved him and saved him from himself. There were so many scenarios in which her Ward could have still been alive and they could have been together. And she knew it wasn’t the same as having him back but it was better than nothing.

She kicked off her boots and tossed her jacket over his desk chair before climbing into the bed and wrapping her arms around him. He didn’t tense up or ask her to stop so she pressed herself against his back and held him while he cried silently.

It had been hard seeing how traumatized he’d been when his consciousness filled his new synthetic body. It had been even harder when he’d started screaming to go back so he could save ‘Skye’. And then he’d seen her and fallen to his knees, sobbing while he wrapped his arms around her, thinking she was his Skye returned to him. Skye wasn’t sure if the other Skye had even returned when she left but the already broken Grant had crumbled even further when she told him the truth.

Skye linked her fingers with his and buried her face in his shoulder, doing her best not to cry. She had no right to cry; she’d done this to him, she didn’t get to feel sorry for herself.

“I searched for her,” he whispered. “I went to her apartment, to mine, to her favorite coffee shop and nothing; she wasn’t anywhere. Then it hit me she might be back at Hydra HQ and there was no way I could go back there. And then I remembered because of you they all knew she was an Inhuman and if she was there she was being tortured so I had to go back.”

Skye’s stomach twisted and she felt bile creep up the back of her throat.

“I went back to her apartment, needing to be alone so I could come up with a plan and then she just appeared, out of nowhere! Kind of like the way you disappeared. And I thought, ‘maybe the other Skye is back’ but then I saw the confusion on her face and knew it was her. What happened to her while you were here? I mean…it’s like she came here, right? We didn’t have real bodies, we were just…existing. So, when you left she should have just been in your place? Like waking from a dream? But then she was gone again, for a few moments, then she reappeared. It was like a glitch in a video game.

I think…when you came she was still in there, with you; and when you left there was a glitch in her coding. She never really went anywhere but because of the disturbance it was like she was fading away.

None of this makes any sense to me, but I could sense she was dying; whatever happened didn’t matter because I was going to lose her, again.”

Skye wanted to say something, to apologize, to do anything to make it better but he wasn’t done and if anyone had the right to speak right now it was him.

“Within the day, it wasn’t just her. Random people on the streets were glitches. Places. Then the fires and floods started, followed by earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes; every natural disaster you could think of, like one of those end-of -the-world movies. By the time my Skye was back for real, we knew we were all going to die, which I was fine with because at least I had her back, just for a while, and we were going to go together.”

“Grant, I’m so sorry,” Skye whispered through a fresh wave of tears, fighting the urge to sob.

“She went first; I watched her die. It was the most horrible pain I’d ever felt in my entire life; like someone had ripped my beating heart from my chest. The only comfort I had was knowing I was going to join her and then, that was the moment you pulled me out.

I had hope that she wasn’t really dead, that you’d brought her back to. And when I realized she really was gone, it was like losing her all over again. It should have been me; she didn’t deserve to die. I would give anything to trade places with her.”

And now Skye _was_ sobbing.

Loudly.

Grant turned in surprise, quickly pulling her towards him in an attempt to comfort her, but Skye was having none of it; though her entire body shook with guilt she shoved him away, shaking her head as he tried again. She didn’t deserve his comfort. She should have left well enough alone; but no, she’d wanted Ward back, no matter how it happened, and no matter the consequences.

She was selfish and no better than she’d made Ward out to be.

“This is my fault. I’m so sorry,” Skye whimpered, unable to find anything better to say.

“None of this is your fault,” he whispered. “You didn’t cause the collapse. Her death wasn’t your fault.”

“Maybe not, but I forced you into this world. It’s my fault you now have to step into a stranger’s life and live without the person you love. I know how that feels and I had no right to put that hell on you. It wasn’t my place to bring you here without your consent.

I forgot for a moment that you weren’t my Ward.

I was selfish and I’m sorry.”

Struggling to meet her eyes, Grant took her hand, and forced himself to look at her.

“You saved three lives, Skye; that isn’t selfish.”

“Of course it is,” she hissed. “I was just trying to get my Ward back. Bringing you all here wasn’t my decision to make; I should have gone back, made sure it was what you wanted.”

“I don’t believe for a moment you only did this for yourself; you were trying to save lives. And if you had been selfish, I would be the only here, not the others. And maybe it wasn’t your decision to make but thanks to you Mack has his daughter and your friends all have Trip back.

Besides, Skye, you knew I wasn’t your Ward and you saved me anyway. If you were as selfish as you think you are it wouldn’t even have crossed your mind to save us. You did so because you saw us as people, not as Aida’s creations.”

“I knew you weren’t him,” she whispered, shedding more tears as she stared at their joined hands, “but the thought of you dying too was too much. I couldn’t save him but I could save you. At the very least I had to try.”

“See, you weren’t being selfish; you were trying to make things right.”

He sounded just like her Ward; not only his voice but because of his selfless response. This Grant was a good, kind, selfless person. Her Grant was the same but John had twisted that into something bad. It seemed even with their differences, both versions of him thought she could do now wrong; he was going to let her off the hook for this and she didn’t want him to. She didn’t deserve it. 

“Will you tell me about him?” Grant whispered. Skye glanced up, meeting his intense gaze. He made her feel…Skye wiped at her eyes, shaking her head violently while making a noise she wasn’t sure was human. Just because he looked like her Grant and felt like her Grant and made her stomach flip-flop like her Grant didn’t mean he was. She couldn’t think of him that way, it wasn’t good for either of them.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” she admitted. “You have enough on your plate without hearing all about the terrible things he did.”

“Hey,” he whispered as he reached up and cupped her face in both hands. “He may have done bad things but he couldn’t have been all that bad, not if you loved him. And I don’t want to hear about the things he did, I want to hear about who he was. What he meant to you. Why you loved him. There has to be a reason.”

“He really wasn’t bad,” Skye admitted as more tears spilled onto her cheeks. “He was just misunderstood. I think he just needed someone to love him and show him he was worth to this world than being a soldier. That he was more than the monster John made him to be.

He had a lot of flaws, but he never lied to me. Not once. Yes, he omitted a lot of things but he never outright lied to me. He loved me too much, even if it compromised his mission.

I wish I had seen it sooner, how much he loved me. Because he did, he loved me more than I ever thought I deserved. And I loved him. I loved him from the moment I met him, but I was trying so hard to give him space to realize he loved me too. If I had just come out with it, told him how I felt, maybe things would have been different. Maybe I could have saved him.

But I was so used to being abandoned and tossed aside and hurt that I couldn’t be the first one to say it. I needed him to be the one to tell me he wanted me. And by the time he did I was so angry and vindictive over his betrayal. Instead of trying to see that he really did love me, I kept trying to punish him. He hurt me so I had to hurt him back ten times as hard.

If I had just dropped the tough bitch act and not put those walls back up, he might still be alive. Everything would be so different if I had just sucked up my pride. I run when things get hard and I shouldn’t have run from him.”

Grant used him thumb to brush away her tears. If her words had any effect on him, he didn’t show it.

“How did he die?”

A pained wail left her chest and this time, when he hugged her, she let him. Skye buried her face in his neck as she sobbed, finding comfort in being able to mourn him. Sure, she’d cried in private for him, but she’d had to grieve in secret. No one understood how much she’d loved him and she had been too busy guarding herself to let anyone see it.

“Coulson killed him and then an Inhuman possessed his body. I’ll go into all of that later but even though he was gone, his spirit fought against the thing possessing him to keep me safe. That’s how much he loved me; he was still protecting me in death. And even though it wasn’t really him, I had to watch as his body died all over again when Hive was killed.

Grant Ward died on me three times; when I found out the man I loved didn’t really exist, when the only father I had ever known killed him, and when the parasite in his body died, taking his body with him.”

“We make a really fucked up pair, don’t we?” He asked, staring down at her dejectedly. “In this universe, he was Hydra and he’s the one who died and in mine, she was Hydra and the one who died.”

“And we’re the ones who survived and are stuck with the pain,” she whispered, shaking her head.

“It seems that no matter the universe, we’re meant to be together.”

“Yeah, too bad we’re not each in our own universe, getting a second chance with the versions of us we fell in love with.”

“Life doesn’t work out that neatly,” he whispered regretfully.

“Yeah, life is really fucked up,” Skye replied bitterly, wiping at her eyes.

“At least we have each other? To get through it?” He offered with his haunted puppy eyes.

Skye did her best to give him a small, reassuring smile. “I guess so, meant to be and all that,” she teased.

Grant blushed and looked away, averting her gaze. “I didn’t mean like that. I just mean, if anyone knows what the other is going through-”

“Relax, Ward, I know what you meant. No matter what happens, I will always be here for you. You’re stuck with me,” she promised, squeezing his hand.

“Good.” He met her eyes with a smile and she found herself smiling too.

Skye reached over and uncorked the Scotch, taking a long swig from the bottle before handing it over to Grant. “Drink up, Ward. It will help you sleep and I hate to say it but you need it; you look like shit.”

He chuckled and took the bottle from her. “Gee, thanks, Skye. You’re a real pal.”

“Anytime, Ward.”

She gave him a long, final smile before reaching over and touching his cheek gently. There were a million things she could say but instead she just gave him a nod and stood, collecting her things on her way to the door.

“Hey, Skye?”

She turned to find him still holding the bottle and watching her, confusion lining his features.

“Ward?”

“I know this,” he said, motioning between them, “is going to be weird for a while but I want you to know that I do care about you. You and she are the same: both selfless and kind and strong. And I will love her the rest of my life; but I recognize you’re two different people and you have shown me so much kindness and compassion and I really need it right now, so thank you. I’m glad I’ll at least still have you in my life. And not just because it’s like keeping a part of her alive.

I just needed you to know that. You’re amazing all on your own, Skye. You matter to me, a lot.”

If he wasn’t so damn vulnerable right now she would walk right over, kiss his cheek, and stay with him as long as he needed her to. But Skye knew when something was a bad idea and she couldn’t trust herself, not with him, so instead she reached for the door.

“You matter to me too, Ward,” she admitted, giving him a longing look. “And not just because of him. Goodnight.”

He raised the bottle in toast to her and she chuckled as she ducked out of the room. Once the door closed behind her she leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart.

While it was true he wasn’t her Ward and that she would love hers the rest of her life, it didn’t stop the fact that she was falling for him. This Grant Ward embodied everything about the man she’d originally fallen in love with: brave, compassionate, loyal. For so long she thought the Ward she’d fallen in love with was an act but thanks to this new Ward she finally understood that was who he really was.

A big part of her felt like she was betraying his memory by moving on, but the other thought maybe he was right; what if they really were meant to be together in every universe. How many versions of her and Ward existed in the multiverse? Fighting, fucking, starting families? How many had ended in tragedy? In how many were they perfectly happy? Were their versions of them with children? What were they like?

There were so many possibilities for what their life could be like and while she would never know how those stories would end, she did know theirs didn’t have to be over.

True, she’d lost the Ward she was supposed to be with and he’d lost the Skye he was meant to be with, but would it really be so terrible for them to find new lives with one another. It wouldn’t be the same, but it was better than being alone.

And hadn’t their two worlds combined, in a way? The way Aida had intended? She’d used magic to bring the Framework to life, to create it, down to painfully accurate details. Had his Skye even been real? Or an extension of her subconscious? And maybe he’d been her Ward all along and this was the universe giving them a second chance?

And maybe it didn’t fucking matter.

“You’re so fucked, Skye,” she muttered aloud, straightening up and running a hand through her hair. She was going to do this eventually, why wait?

Skye turned and raised her hand to knock on his door, before she had a chance to talk herself out of it. But when she turned she was not met with the door but with Ward standing there staring down at her, a very brooding, determined look on his face.

And they didn’t need to say one damn word to each other; they were Skye and Ward. Soulmates in any universe. A team. Able to communicate without words. And they knew what the other needed.

Grant pulled her into the room as she threw her arms around him and pressed her mouth to his. Skye kicked the door behind her, reaching for his belt as he lifted her by her ass and carried her towards his bed. She wrapped her legs around him, leaving behind a trail of clothing in their wake: his belt, their shirts, her bra. They didn’t have time for romance or foreplay; she needed him inside of her right now.

“Get those damn jeans off,” she ordered, biting his lip.

“You’re so bossy,” he moaned.

“Less talking, more stripping,” she insisted, squirming beneath him to get her own pants off.

He grinned down at her unbuttoned and kicked off his jeans. “Keep ordering me around like that and this isn’t going to last very long.”

While Skye didn’t believe for one second he would allow himself to blow it before tending to her needs, his need for her was extremely evident and she couldn’t help but feel a smug sense of satisfaction knowing that she held this much power over him.

“Then stop wasting time,” she teased with a coy smile, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. She moaned into his mouth and wrapped both arms around him as he pressed her into the mattress.

Skye slid her hands over his ass, sighing appreciatively. His perfectly tight bottom had always been one of the many things she’d loved about his ridiculous hot body along with his six pack, toned arms, those cheekbones, and the bulge in his jeans begging to be released.

And now that is was?

_Damn._

His dick was going to ruin her in all the right ways.

She couldn’t wait.

He took a nipple between his teeth and her head began to spin.

“Grant,” she whimpered, moving her hands into his hair and holding his head in place while he trailed his mouth down her body, sending a shiver up her spine.

She was more than ready for him but when he tugged her panties off and kissed her inner thigh she wasn’t about to complain; not many men were willing to go down without being told to and holy fucking shit the things he could do with that tongue.

By the time he came up for air she was a mess: covered in sweat, hair tangled, mascara smeared, and lips cracked from biting into them. She didn’t even have the energy to reach for him. She just lied back, struggling to remember her own name, while he kissed his way back up her body, giving her a taste of herself when he settled on her lips.

Skye lazily wrapped one leg around his waist and rolled him onto his back. She kissed him, taking him in her fist, glad to find him still hard for her. Normally she would pay it some attention but she couldn’t wait any longer; she was ready to fuck him already.

She guided him through her swollen, wet folds; rubbing herself against him. “Fuck,” she wept as she lowered herself onto him. She placed one hand on his chest for leverage and held herself in place, trying to adjust to his size. Once she was sure he wouldn’t tear her in half she began to slowly move her hips over him, doing her best not to cry at how fucking good he felt. He filled her completely and she was grateful he’d already gotten her off once; there was no way in hell she would have been able to take him without the warm-up.

“Shit, you’re tight,” he moaned, holding onto her waist as she found her rhythm. “Feel so fucking good.”

“So do yo-oh fucking hell! She cried out in surprise. He’d shifted his hips and now every time her hips came down on his, her clit brushed against his shaft.

At this rate, she wasn’t going to last much longer.

Grant seemed to realize this because he pulled her down for a kiss, wrapped her up in his arms, and held her closely while he switched their positions. Once she was on her back, he brushed the hair out of her face and stared down at her for a long moment, studying her features.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, cupping her cheek. “How did I get lucky enough to find you twice?”

She’d cried enough for one night so she ignored the urge and reached up to cover his hand with her own. “It’s that soulmate thing,” she offered, leaning up to brush her lips across his. “But we can worry about that later; we were in the middle of something,” she reminded him, lifting one knee so he could have easier access.

“Right.” He kissed her slowly as he entered her again. “As you wish.”

What a fucking nerd.

Skye wasn’t sure when she’d started crying, but when it was over Grant kissed tears away from the corner of her eyes while he wrapped her up in his arms and held her against his chest. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, still reeling from how good the sex was. It was why she’d been crying; because it was the only thing her body had been able to do in the moment, feeling both vulnerable and satisfied.

There were a million things they needed to discuss but for now all Skye wanted to do was stay in his arms and pretend the outside world didn’t exist. And to his credit he didn’t say a word. He didn’t even try to kiss her. All he did was pull the covers over their bodies and wrap her up more tightly in his arms, holding her close until they both drifted off into the best sleep Skye’d had in months.


End file.
